What to do when someone dies, in the order it actually needs doing. For the person they trusted to take charge.
If you are holding this, someone trusted you to settle things well. You do not have to know how. This guide walks you through it one step at a time, in order, so nothing important gets missed and nothing urgent gets done too soon.
Almost nothing here has to happen today. The two things that are time-sensitive are caring for the body and protecting the home. Everything else can wait a day or two while you gather yourself and the people who will help.
At a hospital or care home, staff handle this. At home, call the doctor on file, hospice, or 911 so a death can be officially recorded. You need this before anything else can move.
If the person pre-arranged anything, it is noted in their planner under The Wishes. The provider moves the body and helps you order death certificates.
Close family and anyone whose help you need. The wider notify list can wait until arrangements are set.
Lock up, bring in mail so it does not pile up as a signal the house is empty, and make sure pets are fed and cared for. Do not move money or valuables yet.
The single most useful thing you can do early is order enough certified copies of the death certificate. Almost every bank, insurer, and government office will ask for one before they will talk to you.
Most families underestimate this. Order at least 10 certified copies. Banks, life insurance, pensions, brokerage accounts, the DMV, and property transfers each want their own. The funeral home can usually order them for you.
Work down the list. Most of these are already filled in for you in the planner under The People and The Money. Use the blanks to track who you have reached.
Notifying the credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) places a deceased flag on the file. The dead are a common target for identity theft, and one call to any of the three usually alerts the others.
The mistake families make is cancelling the wrong thing first. A cancelled card can bounce the auto-payments that keep the lights on and the house insured. Work outside in: stop the money leaks last, keep the essentials running until the estate is settled.
Do not close the main bank account on day one. Final bills, refunds, and deposits often still flow through it for weeks. The estate's accountant can tell you when it is safe to close.
Keep these together in one folder. You will hand the same few documents to almost everyone you deal with.
Probate is the court process that confirms the will is valid, names you officially, pays the debts and taxes, and then passes what is left to the people named. It sounds frightening. For most ordinary estates it is mostly paperwork and patience.
This opens the estate and asks the court to confirm you as executor.
List what the person owned and what they owed. The planner's Money and Paperwork sections do most of this for you.
Valid bills and a final tax return come before anyone inherits. Do not hand out money or belongings until this is done.
Pass the rest to the people named in the will, and keep records of everything you paid and gave.
Never distribute assets before debts and taxes are settled. An executor can be held personally responsible for paying out too early. When in doubt, ask the estate's lawyer before you give anything away.
You can do most of this yourself. Some moments are worth a professional's time, and the estate usually pays for it.
You were trusted with this because you are steady and you care. Take it one page at a time. Keep good records. Ask for help. You are doing one of the kindest things a person can do for a family.